She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
