Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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