i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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