we're blogging at a bar
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
