Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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