I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
