He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
did i walk over a car last night?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
