i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize