so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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