Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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