Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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