Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize