I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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