It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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