If that was your dad, he is hot
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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