dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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