I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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