Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
