I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
