As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
