this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
