Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
