Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
