ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
