its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
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i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
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We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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