Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
