is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
