Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride http://tfl.nu/qcn3
  Replies (6) Good night (676) Bad night (2719)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing. http://tfl.nu/pkwf
  Replies (37) Good night (1106) Bad night (3365)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet... http://tfl.nu/n7ez
  Replies (51) Good night (719) Bad night (5704)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now http://tfl.nu/2rfn
  Replies (27) Good night (5221) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Four. Poor grandma...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught. (403): Four. Poor grandma... http://tfl.nu/klxl
  Replies (15) Good night (1449) Bad night (5797)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go. http://tfl.nu/eq2k
  Replies (38) Good night (5354) Bad night (1203)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation. http://tfl.nu/o6ey
  Replies (41) Good night (941) Bad night (10424)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world http://tfl.nu/xi7q
  Replies (42) Good night (3287) Bad night (5342)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to. http://tfl.nu/sxdr
  Replies (17) Good night (1393) Bad night (5870)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell. http://tfl.nu/o2wo
  Replies (12) Good night (883) Bad night (6082)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is. http://tfl.nu/q4lm
  Replies (4) Good night (4740) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.

  (1-413): View more from Massachusetts

  Ooooh. Get funfetti

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me. (1-413): Ooooh. Get funfetti http://tfl.nu/46m2
  Replies (7) Good night (2931) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.

  (1-240): View more from Maryland

  You've ruined popcorn for me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave. (1-240): You've ruined popcorn for me. http://tfl.nu/2sk4
  Replies (7) Good night (956) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21 http://tfl.nu/iggm
  Replies (1) Good night (595) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (448): View more from

  sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (448): sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth http://tfl.nu/msat
  Replies (3) Good night (240) Bad night (510)

Randomize