he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you