I can't watch pbs sober anymore
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.