I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.