Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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