you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Randomize
