Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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