We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
