my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
