He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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