Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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