It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
