i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
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Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
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Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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