i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
