This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
