Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
