When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Banned from zoo.
Again?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
