You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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