The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
