Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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