I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
