I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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