i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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