just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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