Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
