I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
How external is "for external use only"?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
