Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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