I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
