Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
