Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
