Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
