1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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