It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize