My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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